For all my nonchalance, I am in a bit of a pickle here. The backpack I’ve been carrying my arsenal of headwear around with is sitting on the desk in the office I’ve just been hurled from, far from my reach. I spread my legs and arms, clasping the edges of my cape, to create as much hindrance to gravity as possible. I survey the situation and my options.

    There are no convenient flagpoles to grab onto, and at the speed I’m travelling I’d probably tear my arm off anyway. There is a hot dog cart below me, but I doubt that I’ll find much difference between landing on that or the sidewalk at terminal velocity. It would appear my best option is to try and angle myself towards a decorative pond in the small park across the street. Not an option I’d put any money on, but beggars can’t be choosers.

    I’ve done a lot of reading on aerodynamics and unpowered flight. I normally use a variety of hats to defy gravity, though normally it’s either my Winnipeg Jets or Toronto Blue Jays cap. While they both let me fly, the Jets cap is for speed and distance, whereas the Jays cap is for maneuverability and aerial combat. While I can use either one fairly well instinctively, I have done some studying to improve my aerial performance. I put that knowledge to work now, doing my best to control my fall with my cape. I realize with thirty feet left that I’m going to be fifteen feet short.

    “Thundercats HO!!” shouts a familiar voice. I grin and release my cape. My fate isn’t in my hands anymore, and I don’t want to make it any harder for my rescuer to grab ahold of me.

    CrazySugarFreakBoy! latches on to me and propels us to the rooftop next to Flask’s building. I stumble a bit as we land, as I’m nowhere near as accustomed to jumping around like this as CSFB! is, but I’ll take a stumble over the splat. “You can’t tell me this is a coincidence.”

    “Hey, when the Sword of Omens says a fellow Thundercat is in danger, you get the lead out. Or, in this case, Hallie told me what you were up to and I thought that a little patrol couldn’t hurt things. Good thing your Communicard went haywire though or I’d have never gotten to you in time.”

    I reach into my pocket and pull out my ink stained Communicard. The pen that Dancer left for me with Sarah had exploded. Normally the Communicards are very tough and it would take more than some ink to short circuit it, but I guess a good luck charm from the Probability Dancer can overcome that easily. I make a mental note to thank her later.

    “Well, thanks a lot Dream. I didn’t want to pull anyone else into this. In fact, I seem to recall telling Hallie not to alert the team.”

    “Hey man, Superman may be able to get the rest of the JLA to stay out of his business when he says so, but Batman doesn’t give a crap about what he says. I’m your partner, and as your partner that means I’ve got your back. Now how about we get back in there for some payback?”

    Though there are times when I almost regret my partnership with the CrazySugarFreakHero!, and that’s usually when I’m on a blind date that he’s set up, it’s moments like this that remind me why I agreed to be partners with him. “I’m all for that, but I seem to be a little outmatched against Gamona right now.”

    “No problem.” CSFB! grabs me around the waist again and bounces us back to Flask’s office. “It’s my job as your back-up to keep the muscle out of the way. You have to confront the main villain, in this case the Lynchpin. And I’m sure you can take Lunchpail one-on-one any day of the week, powers or not. Remember, this is still your show man, I’m just the guest star. I’m a guest star that’ll boost sales and get his own spin-off title that will come into it’s own as a piece of literary genius, but still the guest star.”

    We enter through the broken window to find the Lynchpin gone, but Gamona is waiting for us with a team of the Lynchpin’s private security force. My backpack is still on the desk.

    “Calling in the reserves, Hatman?” Gamona sneers as she addresses me. “And here I thought you had more honor than that.”

    “If you had any honor you wouldn’t have faced him powerless, babe. Now you have to deal with me.” CrazySugarFreakBoy! turns to me briefly and tosses me his Go-Go Yo-Yo, some Combat Candy, and his Silly String Sprayers. “Take care of my boys for me. They’re just a loaner.” He grins and launches himself at the green assassin.

    The security squad, at first glance there appears to be ten of them, wait for me to approach. They form a human barrier between me and the hats on the Lynchpin’s desk. I take a deep breath and charge.

    I hurl some Combat Candy at the men on the left while simultaneously spraying some silly string at the men on the right. The security squad clumps together, making them an easy target for the yo-yo. I manage to take two of them out before they organize themselves and assail me.

    I’m not horribly comfortable with getting in to close quarters with this many opponents, but this is my best chance for them not to just cut me down with their firearms. The first man to meet my charge attacks with a club. A flick of my wrist sends the yo-yo crashing into his face, dazing him. I follow up with a quick shot to his solar plexus, and his club is mine.

    I fire some more silly string even as I parry the blows of two more guards. Some Combat Candy tossed behind me keeps them from getting at me from behind. Unfortunately as more of them press the attack I begin to take some blows. Ten might be a bit much for me to take on with only some of CrazySugarFreakBoy!’s weapons to back me up.

    Fortunately I manage to use the yo-yo to snag my backpack.

    Using the last of my supply of Combat Bandy to clear some space, I snatch the first cap I can out of the bag and slam it onto my head. I feel power build in my legs and I feel an odd tingly sensation from my tailbone. I run my hand over it and feel a ball of fluff. I realize what hat I’ve probably just put on and feel my teeth to be sure. Yes, the top center two are enlarged.

    Not having time to change the cap, I bound above my attackers. Using the strength in my legs I bounce around to disorient the guards, kicking them when I can. I hope none of them will notice the cotton tail beneath my cape.

    “What cap did you use?!” CrazySugarFreakBoy! calls out to me as he battles Gamona.

    “Team Cute Bluffy Bunny.” The hat was a present from Yo after a training session Jarvis ran back when I was a rookie to the team.* I wouldn’t even carry it except I don’t want to hurt Yo’s feelings inadvertently.

    “Ha! That’s awesome! That's right up there with the boxing glove arrow!”

    I finish disposing of my adversaries and turn to help CSFB!. He waves me off. “I’m patched into the in-house communications network with my Eerie Earring. The Lynchpin’s on the roof, about to board his chopper. Get up there and stop him!”

    I’m about to protest leaving CSFB! alone against Gamona, but I do need to stop the Lynchpin. Considering the opponents he’s gone up against in the past, I’m sure he’ll be fine. But just to make myself feel a little better, I toss his weapons back to him. “I’m on it. Heads up!”

    Without missing a beat he catches his weapons and refocuses his attention on annoying Gamona. I root through my pack and pull out my familiar Pittsburgh Steelers hat. I feel my skin change to organic steel and strength coarse through my entire body. I tense my legs, and leap through the ceiling onto the roof. The helicopter is just taking off.

    I reach up and grab the landing rail. The pilot struggles against my grip, but I’m not letting go. I can see the Lynchpin’s look of horror on his face as he realizes I’ve got my arsenal back and Gamona is nowhere to be seen.

    I grin maliciously as I shake the chopper. “It’s time to talk, Flask!”

To be continued…

Footnote
    *Jarvis put the Legion through a grueling training exercise in Untold Tales of the Lair Legion #1 “War Games”. The team’s consisted of Lisa’s Team Cool Whip, the Dark Knight’s Team Shadow Wraith, and Yo’s Team Cute Fluffy Bunny.